daily doctor who project 2017
by danahscott
Summary: daily drabble project, revolving around doctor who's five main companions, different companion every day, running january first to december thirty-first
1. Chapter 1

Hey, guys! So, I'm hoping I can stick to this, though I do get crazy busy. But my plan is that I'm going to do a different drabble a day and each will revolve around one of the five main companions (Rose, Martha, Donna, Amy, Clara) so each companion will get 73 drabbles and every day will be a different one in a jumbled order (already mapped out). I hope you enjoy! - Dana

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one - injustice

"Rose, sweetheart," Jackie cooed, softly to her. But Rose wasn't in the mood for conversation. She wasn't in the mood for anything. The Doctor was just in the next room over, but really, he'd never been farther away. "Rose, talk to me, love." Rose pulled her knees closer to her chest.

"He's never going to come back, is he?" She said, fighting to keep the tears out of her voice. "He can't just do that, he can't just turn up out of nowhere and change everything and then - and then - _change_." She wiped at her eyes, furiously. She was so _sick_ of crying. "It's not fair."

"Of course it's not." Rose felt Jackie start rubbing her back in circles, and it made her feel like such a kid again. And while it was comforting to have her mum with her arm around her again, Rose wasn't used to feeling this lost, or this alone. Her Doctor with the leather jackets and the fantastics - would she ever see him again?

She started to cry harder still, turning and embracing her mum. "It's not fair," she said again. Because what else was there to say?

"I know, sweetheart, I know."


	2. unmasked

two - umasked

Amy held her breath. The Othomians started taking off their masks, slowly, like an amped-up horror movie reveal. "Doctor," she mumbled, elbowing him in the ribs, "what's under there?"

"Amy," he said, "don't be afraid."

"I'm not," she lied.

"Amy."

"Why? What happens if I am?" She asked, knowing she didn't really want to hear an answer.

"Nothing, but you might scare them."

"Scare _them_? They're scaring _me_."

"They look scary, I know, but they're only children. And the Othomians are a peaceful race who have been kept in solitude for centuries. We don't need to make an enemy today."

"Tell that to them," she protested, "they were the ones chasing us!"

"She does have a point, Doctor," Rory chimed in.

"They've been under control. They aren't expecting us to be kind to them, they've been treated with hostility since the day they were born. They're going to be skittish, but they're not going to harm us unless we give them a reason."

Amy was quiet for a moment. They looked across the way at the Othomians, now fully unmasked. They were truly grotesque. Green ooze dripped from every facial cavity, and their skin had a purple pallor to it that made them look like they were melting. Almost like walking blobs.

"It's just we've barely ever encountered an alien who didn't want to hurt us."

The Doctor looked at her, an almost wounded expression on his face. "You're right. The universe is a large place and it seems I haven't shown you nearly enough of it yet. Not all aliens are evil, Amy."

Amy considered this. She knew it, of course. The Doctor was an alien and the Krafayis hadn't been all bad. But at some point, once Amy saw an alien, her mind jumped to all the ways they could kill her. Well, if what the Doctor said about the Othomians was true, then she might as well make the first move. Amy headed across the chasm where the aliens were standing, almost waiting for one of them to do something.

She marched in front of the biggest one and extended a hand.

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Happy New Year by the way guys, see you tomorrow!


	3. take me with you

three - take me with you

Donna realized she made a mistake on an entirely ordinary day. She woke up five minutes late, grabbed coffee - she made her own, now - got to work ten minutes after she was due - but who would notice? Who ever notices? - and slid into her desk. Ten hours of phone call after phone call, typing up memo after memo, while letting her mind wander like it usually did to the night she saw the stars.

And then, while looking out the window, waiting for the next coffee run, she saw a flash of a brilliant blue color, but when she blinked it was gone. "Tell Jim I'll be out - I don't know how long," she called to Sandra, one of the saleswomen, not even bothering to look behind her and check if she was heard.

She considered calling his name, but that'd just make her look stupid. Besides, who was to say he even remembered her? Donna speed-walked around the corner, looking everywhere for the TARDIS or a sight of his blue suit. Nothing. After about ten minutes of searching, she gave up, sitting on a bench and sighing. Donna ached and ached to be back there - seeing new planets and civilizations like he'd promised her that Christmas.

It wasn't the first time this had crossed her mind, but it _was_ the first time she'd fully allowed herself to regret it. She should've said yes when he asked her. But she'd been scared and she'd just lost her fiance - evil though he was - and she was overwhelmed by the aliens and the spaceships and the _death_. But still, for that day, she really felt like something. Like some _one_. Someone who mattered.

And then, like magic, an idea sprung into her head. She could still _find_ him. Find the aliens, find the Doctor. She'd have to snoop around, but it wouldn't be too hard, Donna was sure of it. Never mind the fact that he could be anywhere in time and space. Her mind was set.

Two hours later, Donna walked into her boss' office and promptly resigned.


	4. Chapter 4

four - contagious

Martha scanned the alien laying in front of her on a makeshift hospital bed. She'd normally be unfazed by his purple pallor if it weren't for the green complexions of all the doctors and nurses stumbling around blindly.

"I don't understand," the alien doctor kept mumbling. "It just doesn't make any _sense_." Martha peered behind his neck where black ooze dripped onto the blue cloth beneath him. "This illness - this disease - it's impossible." Martha turned to the bewildered doctor, stern and serious.

"A good doctor doesn't rattle on about how a disease is impossible. They treat it."

"And you'd know?"

"I would, actually. Doctor Martha Jones." She paused, looking at the unconscious alien. "If I treat him, will you let my friend go?" She asked.

"You can't treat him. Anyone who has touched a patient has contracted the illness. There's nothing to do except let the illness die with the patients."

"I'm immune, trust me." She tentatively touched the alien's neck, taking a pulse. Steady. Strong. There was still time. "I'll help you, but you have to let the Doctor go? I mean - my friend. The one you've kidnapped." The alien doctor paused for a long time, considering the offer.

Without looking away from Martha, he addressed the nurse, "go get him. And be quick about it."

Quickly, Martha set to work.


	5. five minutes to midnight

five - five minutes to midnight

"Keep your eyes shut!" The Doctor ordered Clara, guiding her along briskly. In the distance, she could hear cheering, and she felt a cool wind blowing across her face. She shivered. Wherever he was taking her was _freezing_. Clara crossed her arms, holding herself tightly.

"Doctor, I can't _see_."

"This'll make up for it. Trust me." Clara made a big show of sighing dramatically, but in all honestly, she was excited to see his surprise. "You can open your eyes now, Clara." Slowly, Clara let her eyes adjust to the light. "We haven't moved in space, but in about five minutes, we'll be witnessing the turn of the millennia. Are you ready to see the year 3000?"

"You remembered!" Clara smiled, swinging her legs over the edge of the rooftop so her feet dangled off the side. "That was a whole different you I said that to."

"Well," the Doctor started, easing himself over the edge too, "you said you wanted to go. Why not? I've seen it three times, it's nothing special, really." Clara raised an eyebrow, amused. " _But_ it's surely very important to you lot. Plus, the fireworks are really quite advanced at this point. You'll see quite a show."

"Is that right?" Clara asked, closing her eyes and feeling the reds and blues pulse against her eyelids. "Well, Doctor, after all this time, you still manage to amaze me."

"Happy new year, Clara Oswald."

"Happy new year, Doctor."

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thought this was fitting! happy late new year, see you guys tomorrow!


	6. pride

"Donna Noble, you saved the day!" The Doctor exclaimed, and Donna started to bite back a triumphant smile, but she decided to let it show.

"Some help you were, too."

"Well," he said, scratching behind his ear, "it was a little hard to do while I was kidnapped." He paused then, and Donna could feel the Doctor smiling at her. "I'm proud of you, Donna. You saved a whole world just now."

Donna didn't know what to say. She could barely remember a time in her life when someone had told her they were proud of her - besides Gramps. But here he was, saying it, meaning it. And - though hesitantly - Donna was proud of herself too.

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really short one today guys, sorry! been a bit busy, but here you go! clara is up for tomorrow.


	7. Chapter 7

seven - emptiness

It was a sunny day, and that felt wrong to Clara. Every day had been so damn beautiful since Danny died, and it wasn't fair. The sun shouldn't shine unless he was there to see it. Now, being at the school, or walking to the coffee place they used to like, it just left her feeling numb. And then, out of nowhere, on Christmas Day, the Doctor had showed up and turned over her entire world again. Every Wednesday, he'd come and it would set her on fire, the travelling and exploring and adventures.

It had become a kind of escape all at once. And the Wednesdays had started to become Wednesdays and Fridays and Mondays too, until now she left on a whim, with little concern to what she was leaving behind.

Clara ran a hand through her hair. It was shorter than she'd ever had it, but she had needed a change. She looked at her watch. Five minutes were up. Clara sighed, looking up at the sky, feeling restless again. She pulled out her phone.

"Doctor?" She said, smiling. "Can you come and get me? I'm in the mood for an adventure today."


	8. daydream

eight - daydream

Now that Mickey was on board the TARDIS, Rose remembered her past a lot more. She still remembered being two little kids running around the backyard, playing make believe. She remembered being two teenagers, sitting in a cafe and dreaming of what they'd be someday.

"Mickey," she remembered saying to him, "do you think I'm gonna be a shopgirl my whole life?"

"No way," Mickey assured her. "We're gonna be rich, you and me. Then we can put Jackie away somewhere nice. How's that sound?"

"Good. Might need my A-levels first though." She leaned her chin on her hand. "It all feels a little pointless after a while, huh? You keep thinking you're going to be the exception, you're going to be the one to get famous. But we're just like everyone else."

There was a long pause. "I s'pose you're right," Mickey had said. That was how most of their conversations had ended back then. It was hard to feel optimistic sometimes. But even their wildest dreams, their most hidden hopes couldn't amount to what the Doctor had given to them.

This reality was better than anything she could have dreamed.


	9. all good things must come to an end

It was a Sunday night when Martha almost called him. It was just a moment at the end of a long day at the end of long week that felt like it had gone on forever. It had only been two weeks since he'd dropped her off. It was just a lapse of judgement, that's all, and for a moment, with her finger hovering over the call button, she almost let it ring. She could have pictured it: he'd be surprised, or quite possibly in the middle of a battle and she'd say, "What do you say, one more trip?" just like he used to say to her.

But then, with a determined sigh, she clicked off her phone, stretching out on her bed. The imprint of the TARDIS was still etched onto her mattress. She shut her eyes until the itch to run faded away. She was still plagued with nightmares. Disjointed images of death and destruction and the planet she loved turning to dust in her hands. The feeling of solitude and loneliness creeping back into her heart, the knowledge that the Doctor, the man she loved, was somewhere being tortured, maybe even _dying_ , and she couldn't help him until the end.

She caught her mother staring out the window sometimes, letting the warm dish water run over her hands until they were raw and red, until Martha had to turn it off and watch her mother flinch at her own daughter's touch. She would always go sit in her room alone for an hour after that. Sometimes Martha could hear her praying. Once, by chance, she heard her mom whisper during one of those times, "I thought I would never see it again. I thought it was gone forever." And then she looked at Martha, so sadly. Martha didn't know how to respond.

It was easier and harder with her dad and her brother. She'd call them and make small talk, but they just _sounded_ different. Like there was a weight upon their hearts but they couldn't be bothered to say it out loud. Most of all, they were scared. True, the family fights had stopped, but part of that was because they never left the house.

Tish was keeping it together, mostly. She had been acting as comfort for the whole family. It was like Martha and her were a task force with the sole mission of making sure everyone was okay. Tish threw herself into baking. She kept buying herself recipe books, each one harder than the last. One day, Martha found her sobbing on the kitchen floor, hands caked in batter, because she just _couldn't_ get it perfect, and now the eggshell was smashed into the dough and she couldn't feed it to Dad, because it would _kill_ him, and it would be all her _fault_.

And the worst part for Martha was that everything was so _foggy_. She would start to remember a fond memory of her times with him, but within a matter of minutes, her mind always lead her back to the end, to the misery, and the sadness, and the death. She couldn't separate it anymore, the travelling and the fighting. The lines were fatally blurred. The whole series of adventures was punctuated by that year, dooming it in her mind as an altogether painful experience, wiping away any of the good.

And that was why she wanted to call him. To remember that it could be good again, that it could be fun. But she also knew she had to wait, because as soon as she went back to him, it would be "one more trip" until it destroyed her again. One day, she'd be able to try it again, travel with him and be reminded of the good in the universe, but it was going to take time. Martha set her phone down on the nightstand, shut her eyes and prepared for another night of restless sleep.


	10. things are different now

**hey guys, gonna be honest, i wrote this quite a while ago and it's just a narration of a scene for the most part, but school's just started up so i figured i might focus on homework for today, but i've already finished tomorrow's bit, so bear with me :) xx**

ten - things are different now

"You're thinking of stopping, aren't you? You and Rory." Amy looked up at the Doctor. He knew. Of course he knew. He could always read Amy so easily.

"No," she quickly said. "I mean, we haven't made a decision."

"But you're considering it." The way he looked at her, with those big sad eyes. She couldn't lie to him.

"Maybe. I don't know. _We_ don't know." There was a brief pause as Amy thought of what to say next. "Well, our lives have changed so much. But there was a time, there were years, when I couldn't live without you. When just the whole everyday thing would drive me crazy. But since you dropped us back here, since you gave us this house, you know, we've built a life." It was true. A life with Rory was so much better than Amy could ever have imagined. But balancing it with the TARDIS and travelling felt impossible to maintain. "I don't know if I can have both."

"Why?"

"Because they pull at each other. Because they pull at me, and because the travelling is starting to feel like running away." Amy remembered what she said to the Doctor years ago, when she was in the TARDIS after their first adventure with the Star Whale. She was running away from her marriage - that seemed so ridiculous to her now, considering how happy she was with Rory - and she asked the Doctor if he ever ran away from something. She couldn't remember his answer now. But she figured she could guess.

"That's not what it is," the Doctor defended himself.

"Oh, come on. Look at you, four days in a lounge and you go crazy."

"I'm not running away." Amy raised her eyebrows at that, but she decided to let him finish. "But this is one corner of one country in one continent on one planet that's a corner of a galaxy that's a corner of a universe that is forever growing and shrinking and creating and destroying and never remaining the same for a single millisecond. And there is so much, so much to see, Amy. Because it goes so fast." Amy couldn't take her eyes off the Doctor, while he wouldn't meet hers. "I'm not running away from things, I am running to them before they flare and fade forever." The Doctor took a breath and looked down. "And it's all right. Our lives won't run the same. They can't. One day, soon maybe, you'll stop. I've known for a while."

Amy couldn't think of what to say, how to respond to what the Doctor was telling her. He was being so honest with her. "Then why do you keep coming back for us?"

"Because you were the first. The first face this face saw. And you're seared onto my hearts, Amelia Pond. You always will be. I'm running to you, and Rory, before you fade from me." Amy rested her head upon his shoulder. She was terribly, terribly torn. Life with Rory or life with the Doctor? And why couldn't she have both? Rory, the Doctor, and Amelia Pond. In the TARDIS. She just wished it were that simple.


	11. forgive and forget

eleven - forgive and forget

Donna trembled, holding the Doctor closer to her. She'd done it, all by herself, saved her own skin, then saved the planet below her, then saved the Doctor. All of that, by herself.

Gwog shook behind her on the floor of the spaceship, feebly reaching out a hand to Donna. "I'm sorry, I - I just," he started to whimper, "I just wanted my people back." So pathetic he looked, sapped of all his energy.

Donna turned to face him, glancing at the Doctor staring stoically ahead. "You _can't_ bring them back. You have to move on," she said, not unkindly. "You can't destroy and destroy just fix what's broken."

Gwog tried to push himself up, but his arms collapsed under him. "I just - I just -"

"I forgive you," Donna said, looking him straight in the eye, then turning away, taking the Doctor by the hand. A year ago, she would have spat in Gwog's face. But being with the Doctor had changed her. That could have been him had he not been as strong.

Donna knew she'd be unable to forget the look on Gwog's face when he lost everything but the thought that she'd tried to help him would have to be consolation enough.


	12. cold december night

**this is so short and i am extremely sorry guys, i'm just pretty sick right now, but i will try my hardest to make tmrw's chapter worthwhile :) xx**

Martha watched her breath fog up and dissipate in the cold winter air. Just hours earlier, a spaceship almost crashed into Buckingham Palace, undoubtedly involving the Doctor. She smiled a little, hugging herself tighter to stave off the cold.

Everyday was getting easier. Everyday,, the weight on her heart lifted just a little less. And then there was UNIT. It didn't take long for them to find her and it didn't take long for her to start working there. She didn't realize just how much she'd loved the travelling and the aliens. She used to wonder if she'd only loved him and him alone and that that was why she'd stayed. Now she knew it was more than that.

Martha shivered. She wondered where he was right now. She hoped he was safe. She hoped he was happy.


	13. beautiful

The first time he calls you beautiful, it feels like you're being lit on fire. You've known him for all of four days and the whole world has started to spin the other way. Of course your mum has called you beautiful before, but she's your mum and it's her job. And Mickey has said it plenty of times, especially the nights when his lips are on your skin, and the moonlight is streaming in through the window.

But then _he_ says it and it's like you're rediscovering the word, like you're really hearing it for the first time, like the definition in the dictionary had it wrong the whole time. He says it, and you feel like he might be looking right through you in the way you always hoped and always feared someone would one day. It's like he's extracting the light from inside of you with two fingertips and letting it float through the air, dance in front of you.

It's like he's whispering, "Look. Look at what you are." The word is nestling galaxies and nebulas and everything you suddenly want to see and explore. You want to run out and show everyone who you are, because he says it and it's different than when your mum said it, a passing remark, "You're beautiful, but you need to learn to show it off, Rose."

It's different than when Mickey said it to you, a thank you, an empty compliment, muttered over and over again because what else do you say when you're holding a girl in your arms?

When he says it, it's like your whole life is jumbled up in front of you into something you can create, into something you can shape. He says it, and it's like he can see beyond you, beyond everything you are and everything you want. He says it, and you finally see what he saw the first time you met in the alley behind your shop. He says it, and you think you know what he meant when he said he could feel the Earth moving under his feet.


	14. dance with me

fourteen - dance with me

Amy pressed Rory closer to her, swaying under the red and blue lights. Remembering the Doctor meant remembering losing Rory, too. Remembering holding him in her arms as he died.

So, Amy held him closer because by some miracle he was alive and breathing again. She could feel the Doctor watching them, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from Rory. From the boy who'd waited so long for her in any version of their reality. From the boy who'd brought her back to life.

Tomorrow, there'd be adventures and planets and new horizons extending to the edges of the universe. Tomorrow, there'd be spaceships, famous painters, and the wonders that came when time and space were at your fingertips. Tomorrow, there'd be all that to come.

But tonight, Amy was content to sway with Rory under the red-blue lights of their wedding hall.


	15. why me

Clara dreamed about it sometimes. The cliff and the fear and the hug that answered none of her questions. That was the only time she could remember. "You died," it echoed back and forth in her mind. "Who are you?" That question replayed over and over and over again until it drove her mad. She had thought he'd traveled with her because he _wanted_ her.

Not like that, not in that way, though sometimes when she looked back at him and found he'd already been staring, she'd thought maybe… Except, in her dreams, she knew better. In her dreams, she knew _why_. He was staring because she was a mystery. That's why he'd said, way back in the beginning, that's why he'd called her the only mystery worth solving. Back then, it'd seemed nice, it had felt genuine. In her dreams, she questioned every little thing he'd ever said to her.

Did he care about her at all? Or was she just some little puzzle that he'd drop back home as soon as he'd put the pieces together? She thought he'd wanted a friend. She'd thought he was lonely, and Clara supposed that he was, because there was pain behind his every action, the way he'd run willingly into a death match, not bothering to check behind him for anyone who might miss him when he's gone. But she'd thought he had brought her along because maybe some companionship was what he had needed, or at least what he'd wanted.

In her dreams, she wondered whether she even mattered to him at all. And every morning after, she'd wake up, unsettled and disturbed, wondering why she couldn't remember her dream, when she _always_ remembered her dreams. And every time she shrugged it off, and grabbed her phone. She always dreamed it Tuesday nights, and it was Wednesday, at last.


	16. dangerous promise

Wilf had never meant to let it get so far. A passing fancy, a glimpse through the window, the sight of something blue. Deep blue, reflected in the glass of the toy shop he'd take Donna to when she was little. When he turned around, it was gone. He'd been imagining the Doctor a lot lately, looking for him any time he thought maybe he'd show up. The Doctor had said one more time. That time hadn't come yet.

 _Any day now_ , Wilf would think to himself. But this time, he was sure he'd seen the TARDIS. It wasn't like he could erase the image from his mind. He had a portfolio in his desk, filled with picture after picture that he'd scoured the internet for. He kept it hidden from Donna, of course. Mustn't let her see. But then, the _blueness_ he'd seen, he couldn't have imagined that. Wilf was never very superstitious, but he took it as a sign.

And then, there he'd ended up, sitting at the table, nervously fidgeting with his manilla folder. He slid out the first picture, the picture of the Doctor.

"What's all this for, Gramps?" Donna asked, already bored, and Wilf felt disappointment seep a little deeper into his heart.

"Just a little bit of nonsense I found on the web."

"You've been on the web?"

"Just a little bit."

"Hang on," Donna said, grabbing the picture and examining it closer. Wilf held his breath, nervously. "Isn't that the man who was at the house a couple months back? John, was it?" Wilf nodded, studying her face. She stared at the picture a bit longer, uneasily and then decidedly set the picture face down on the table, like it unsettled her.

He pulled the next picture out of his folder, tentatively, starting to feel an uneasy sensation form in the pit of his stomach. This one was of the TARDIS, standing on a street corner. Donna's eyes widen a bit.

"Well, this is just one of those old phone boxes, yeah?" She said, evenly, but he heard a trembling in her voice, and Wilf wondered if she was about to remember, about to break through. She clutched at her forehead. "Oh, my head _hurts_." Wilf put the photos away, hurriedly, and like a rush, he remembered the promise he made. He remembered why he had made it.

"Does it?"

"I was fine before. I don't understand." Wilf sucked in a breath, forcing a smile.

"Why don't you go lie down, sweetheart? Things will be better after a nap." She nodded, squeezing her eyes shut and heading in the direction of her room. Wilf rubbed the back of his hand over his eyes, blinking back tears. "Things will be better with time," he said, but he didn't think she could hear him at all.


	17. enemy

"Doctor, let me _go_! Let go of me!" The Doctor locked the door to the TARDIS, only letting her go when he saw that Rory and Amy were safely inside. "Why'd you make me go? I almost had him. I could have _killed_ him!" The Doctor looked at her, slowly, making Amy feel even angrier and a little unsettled.

"Amy, do you hear yourself right now? You're talking about murder. That's not what we do."

She shook her head, stubbornly. "Orlaith killed her. He killed Gwynn."

"I know."

"She was our friend, Doctor, and he murdered her."

"I know," he said, and Amy wanted him to stop talking. Stop talking or stop echoing the same empty phrase over and over again, because it meant _nothing_.

"He deserved that, he _deserved_ it-"

"I'm not saying he didn't, Amy."

"So why didn't you let me kill him?"

"Because we cannot harbor hate in our hearts. Orlaith's wife died, remember that?"

"That doesn't excuse what he did!"

"No, it doesn't," he stated, plainly. Amy looked up at him, fuming, silent, as the hum of the TARDIS started to grow louder in her ears. Out of her periphery, she could see Rory look back and forth between them, but she was focused on the Doctor.

"So? What, then?"

"All he did, all that destruction, that was all to avenge her. And that does not excuse one single innocent life he took. And if you let your heart become hard, if you let yourself be bitter, you'll end up like he did, murdering people and calling it justice."

Amy sucked in her lips, shutting her eyes, seeing Gwynn's broken body hitting the ground replaying in her mind. She felt the Doctor pull her into a hug, and she welcomed it, feeling the anger seep out of her.

"You don't have to make the universe your enemy," he whispered to her.


	18. i did it because i love you

She bites her tongue because she has to. She puts on the uniform because she needs to. Because what else can she do in 1913? So she endures his dismissive remarks, ignores the comments from the rich schoolboys who have never known suffering and she lives for the nighttime.

She'd curl up in the TARDIS, letting it's mournful hum swell around her, enveloping her like a warm blanket. _I know,_ she says sometimes, _I miss him, too_.

Most nights, she plays his video, the only times she can see his eyes light up in the way they used to. After the tenth night, she could recite it by heart.

She scratches a new tally marks into the wood of her chambers every day, and every day she gets closer to getting him back, to leaving, to being free. Until then, she will pull through it. Go to bed every night with chafed hands from having them soaked in soapy water all day. She will watch him and Joan grow closer and closer as she is pushed farther and farther away. She will eat the leftovers from the schoolboys' and grimace at the taste.

She will do all these things, and she would do them over and over again, because she loves him. She loves him. What wouldn't she do?


	19. beginnings

Clara sat on the steps, jiggling her leg, restlessly. Any second now, he'd be here. It was funny to Clara, how she was itching to go somewhere new after a year and half of being content with one place. She thought she would be okay with it, grounding herself indefinitely. But now she realized the wanderlust was only brewing behind the surface, waiting for even the hint of adventure to pull it back out.

And of course, a not insignificant part of Clara knew it was dumb, and probably dangerous, to fly away with a man she just met. But for whatever reason, she found herself inexplicably drawn to him. Clara didn't believe in fate, but then, she hadn't believed in time travel, either. And something inside her made her think that maybe she'd been hurtling in his direction all her life.

This could go badly. This could go very, very badly. But Clara was sick of playing it safe. She'd been playing it safe for years. Now, for better or for worse, she was ready to start taking risks.  
Outside, Clara heard the wheezing of the TARDIS. Slowly, her lips stretched into a wide grin.


	20. only the best

day twenty - rose

"I only take the best," he had said. "I've got Rose." The words echoed in Rose's head that night. She turned them over in her mind, testing them out. Travelling with the Doctor had certainly changed her. She was emboldened, confident, someone she wouldn't have recognized three months ago.

And yet, he'd called her "the best." Months ago, her gut instinct would have been to reject the whole notion. She was just a shopgirl without her A-levels. But he had shown her more since then. He'd shown her the stars, he'd called her special, he made her realize she was important, too.

And the way he'd _said_ it, too. Mickey had whispered things like that to her, late at night at the back end of their last year of secondary school. He'd tell her about his dreams and his grandma and everything he wished he could be and everything he knew he wouldn't be. And between stories, he'd tell her, "thank you," "you're wonderful," "Rose, _you're the best,_ " like he was afraid she'd stop listening if he didn't.

Jimmy Stone would say it to her after another one of their constant arguments, using it as a weapon to get her to cave in, dismiss the problem so he'd never have to apologize.

But the Doctor didn't say it to please her or placate her. He hadn't even said it to her, he said it to Adam. So casually, too, almost a passing remark. And when he'd said it, though she believed no one else, Rose believed he meant it.


	21. our little secret

Clara wondered if the secret made it better. Sometimes it felt like the constant risk of the Doctor finding out she was lying to Danny, and Danny finding out she was lying to him kept her on her toes just enough to have some fun. Fun felt like the wrong word. It _was_ the wrong word. But the lying kept her on her toes all the time, put her at the top of the game, through the stakes through the roof. That way, if she messed up and spilled to one of them, the carefully constructed lie she'd spent a month building would all come tumbling down.

She'd talk to the Doctor, look him right in the eye and tell him how _glad_ she was that Danny had finally decided that this was okay, and try to dismiss the slight raise of his eyebrow. She'd kiss Danny warmly and tell him she was going to go shopping and that he shouldn't wait up, and then immediately proceed to spend the next week kidnapped on an alien planet that she couldn't pronounce the name of.

It was a delicate balance, her secret life with the Doctor, and her lies about Danny. But Clara was desperate for thrill, desperate for something that would shake her up just enough so she can seize control again. If nothing else, the control Clara had was what kept the whole thing going, because while she had no power over everything else, this secret she could manage.


	22. temptation

temptation - rose

"Stop! Rose, listen! Let me _go_!" Vaguely, from the back of her mind, Rose heard him. But it sounded like he was underwater, because she couldn't will herself to listen. The knife clenched in her hand, the cool metal blade, it was so enticing. And the man who had wronged the whole planet in front of her. A perfect situation, really. She clutched the knife tighter until her knuckles were white.

"Rose, they're controlling you, but you can break free. Rose, you have to- please, let me-" She wanted him to stop. She wanted him to be quiet. It was so peaceful to give in. To let her mind go blank, to let them steer. Her heart burned with hatred towards this man, held by guards. He showed no sign of resistance. Almost as if he was daring her, laughing at her in his head.

Rose clenched her jaw. Raised the knife to eye level. She heard the scuffling of the Doctor's feet behind her, his desperate attempts to break free from the alien's grasps. "They're going to turn the knife on you next, Rose, but they can't! Not if you stop it now!" She stepped forward, pressing the tip of the knife to the man's chest. A flicker of fear arose in his eyes, and Rose relished in the power. She started to apply pressure, just the slightest amount, but enough to draw a drop of blood from his now broken skin.

The knife clattered to the ground. Rose blinked, stepping back to see it roll down the top of his crisp white shirt, staining the fabric. She turned, facing the Doctor, searching his face desperately for a sign of consolation. She noticed her hands were shaking. His face was distressed and relieved all at once. Like a machine working in sync, the aliens released his hands and he dropped to the floor. Rose took a few deep breaths. "I'm better than that," she whispered to herself, and in her heart, she knew it to be true.


	23. biggest regret

biggest regret - donna

Donna sighed, leaning back on her hands. She shivered. It was colder than she thought it would be. Normally, she'd go inside to get a coat but the distance between her backyard and the kitchen seemed insurmountable. Even from outside, she could hear Gramps and her mum fighting. It was a clear night. The stars were twinkling and Donna took a strange sort of solace in them.

She remembered being surrounded by them, glowing around her, the light reflecting on his face. The Doctor's face. She'd been thinking about him more and more often. Her heart ached at the words she had said to him when he'd invited her. She had been scared. She hadn't been ready. She'd been mourning her fiance. Donna spent that whole night crying and crying and she hadn't told her mum or Gramps what had happened. She kept it holed up inside her.

But she had been the first human to ever see the creation of the Earth. She had been the only one. At least, that was what he had told her. Donna didn't bloody know anymore. She had long outgrown the notion that the universe cared about her. She asked if she'd see him again, and he had told her if he was lucky. It seemed to ring so untrue now. She would need a miracle to cross his path again.

Donna peered through Gramps' telescope. There it was, Sirius, the brightest star in the sky. If she ever met the Doctor again, she thought she might ask him to take her there.


	24. a long way from home

martha - a long way from home (also tysm to the reviewers, you make me feel like i am not just shouting into the void)

Martha stood on the alien planet and felt the heat of three alien suns. The grass under her feet was sticky, different than Earth's, and the air was humid. More humid than she was used to. It was one of those few times when the Doctor and her weren't running or hiding and solving a mystery. She could smell the pleasant aroma of cinnamon. The Doctor said it came from the trees, but it seemed to waft up from the very earth itself.

He stretched out in the grass, patting the ground next to him, and without hesitation, Martha took the cue to lean next to him, lying down next to him. The sky was the most vibrant shade of purple. She sighed, contentedly, turning her head to face him.

"We should do this more often, you know. It's quite nice to relax. Tell me, Doctor, how does trouble always manage to find you?" He shook his head, giving a little laugh.

"That's a good question." They sat in silence for a moment. "Do you ever want to go back? Home, I mean. Just for a visit." Martha looked at him, alarmed. He looked away. "Rose would. She'd ask to go visit all the time." Martha tried to ignore the mention of Rose's name. It was too beautiful a day for the ache in her heart to bite at her.

"Sometimes, yeah. But then there are days like these." Before she could stop herself, she found herself asking him, too. "Do you miss your home?" He was quiet for a long time, and Martha started to think he wasn't going to respond.

"Every day," he stated, simply. "Every day."


	25. open your eyes the world needs you awake

open your eyes, the world needs you awake - amy

The first thing she noticed was how much everything _hurt_. Like her mind was trying to gnaw itself open. The second thing she noticed was that she couldn't see. The third, she couldn't move. But she could hear. Not perfectly, but Amy vaguely recognized the Doctor and Rory's frantic voices.

She felt herself being scooped up into Rory's warm arms, but rapidly her sense of being was fading, and she felt like she was being sustained in empty air. "What's wrong with her, Doctor?" Amy could hear Rory's voice as if he was shouting through syrup. She heard the Doctor explaining something to Rory, something about a parasite in her brain, something about killing her, something about low odds, and while Amy knew she should care, it felt so nice to sink deeper into the darkness.

"Talk to her, Rory, she can hear you. You can bring her back," the Doctor said, urgency coloring his voice. The pain was receding, sinking away, and Amy would have sighed in relief if she was able. She was being pulled farther and farther from the surface. She knew she needed to be worried and fighting, but it was so peaceful, so peaceful, so, so, so.

"I'm not gonna tell you to wake up for me, Amy." Rory. Rory's voice. She felt herself being pulled a little closer into the pain. "Because I know it's not enough." She heard his voice wavering, and the pain got more immediate, the sounds around her brought into more clarity. "So, I'm gonna tell you about a memory.  
"Do you remember, about a week ago, when we went to Strrug? The Doctor was unconscious, I was kidnapped and you saved an entire planet. You saved a whole race. You - you saved the Star Whale, you saved… me. You brought me back, you brought the Doctor back." Every word was like he was tugging on a string wrapped around her consciousness, excruciating pain increasing, and Amy desperately wished to cry out. "The world needs you, Amy. The universe needs you. Please, Amy, please. Please wake up." Amy knew then, that she was on the tipping point. She could fall back into darkness, never getting out, or she could fight and struggle and give it everything she had.

Amy thought of the Star Whale, then. She thought of Liz 10 and her people, lost in the time loop, and the Doctor, faced with the idea of more blood on his hands. She thought of Vincent and his paintings, of Canton, of River, of the Doctor, of everyone like them who still needed to be saved.

Like a light switched on, Amy gasped a big, big breath, and opened her eyes.


	26. unhappy ending

unhappy ending - amy

Lately, it was all Amy thought about. How all this - the travelling, the aliens, the spontaneity, the Doctor - how all that would come to an end. She'd gotten used to the signs by now, the remnants of others like her who had left him in some way. He'd told her about Rose once, when Amy had found a box full of old alien tourist items labeled _For Mum_. He'd brought her to meet Martha, and he barely breathed Donna's name, but River had told her that story.

So, now, all Amy could think about was the fact that it could happen to her. Some way, against her will, she will be ripped from him. Her and Rory will go, and the Doctor will be all alone again.

She couldn't picture this ending happily, because she couldn't picture it ending. She desperately wanted something good for them, some promise of a happy future where they all knew where they'd end up, and hopefully together. Wouldn't it be nice to be like Martha? Able to see the Doctor whenever she fancied, able to help out, keep tabs, go on the occasional adventure or two?

But no, that was unrealistic. Martha only had that because she left, and Amy couldn't imagine ever walking out on the Doctor, couldn't imagine _ever_ wanting to kiss this goodbye. So she held her breath and hoped for the best. She knew that all this was impossible, that she wasn't going to be able to sustain her ignorance of the issue, but for now, all she wanted was to see everything she could, every single thing, and worry about the rest later. There'd be time. There'd be all of that time left to come.


	27. bright eyes

bright eyes - martha

Martha glanced up at Neel, watching him watch her through his slitted, beige eyes. His black hair brushed against the top of his shoulders and then spread outwards like sparks from a fire. His red robes draped against the ground, he smiled up at her, thin-lipped and warm.

"Your eyes," he said, in the twittery voice he had.

"What?" Martha asked him, shyly. It had been a long while since anyone had looked at her like that. And though it was most likely because he was alien and she was human, she still found herself liking it.

"They sparkle." She smiled.

"Oh yeah?"

"They're brighter when you look at him," he said, a wry smile on his face, looking over to where the Doctor was fiddling with his sonic screwdriver. Martha bit back the pang of disappointment. She hated being reminded, lately. Neel looked away, tracing circles on the table in front of him.

"I don't reckon he notices," Neel said, with a slight shrug.

Martha continued looking at the Doctor. "No. No, I don't suppose he does."


	28. laugh

laugh -rose

i.

She laughed reluctantly, because even though she was on top of the earth, and even though part of her desperately wanted to yell his ear off for bringing her here, and even though she was hearing her mum's voice on the other end of the phone and wondering why she was so eager to leave in the first place, she laughed. Because there was something exhilarating about the whole thing, talking to her mum from billions of years in the future and standing next to an almost-but-not-quite stranger who she just couldn't seem to shake loose from her mind.

ii.

She pointed to the console, listening to him talk, and when his hand touched hers she tried to explain, but couldn't help but laugh, because her skin felt like it was being lit on fire, and because he looked so beautiful, standing there and beaming up at her. And Rose felt like sunlight was pouring out of every cavity on her body, felt herself start to glow. If she was his hand to hold in the universe, then undoubtedly, he was hers.

iii.

She laughed, but she had never felt worse in her entire life. She laughed and she _ached_ and she felt like collapsing into his arms, but he would never be able to hold her again. She laughed but she knew that he knew, too. That she really would let two universes collapse, even if she'd die trying, only if it meant seeing him again, touching him again, smiling at him again without the pain in her eyes. She laughed, and he laughed, and she thought for a moment that if she kept pretending, then maybe - _maybe_ \- they wouldn't have to say goodbye. It didn't work.

iv.

She laughed, though it wasn't funny. It wasn't funny at all. But it wasn't sad either. It was like she was feeling every emotion at once. She thought she would never see him again. She thought, when he'd disappeared on Bad Wolf Bay, that that had been it. Even when searching for him with the dimension cannon, she couldn't lock it into her mind that she was going to see it again. No, it wasn't up until this moment that she finally believed it, all she had to do was reach him, touch him, and finally, that would make it real. Time and space would once again be at their fingertips. And as she laughed, she ran towards him.


	29. denial

denial - clara

If she told herself enough times that she was fine, she started to believe it. Because, some days, the weight on her unbeating heart didn't feel as heavy, and the countdown on her neck didn't feel like a countdown to Gallifrey like it did most days. She could almost pretend that she was just another girl falling in love with every other man and woman she meets in time in space, convincing herself that she saw a wrinkle in the mirror, or felt a flicker of a heartbeat.

And then she caught herself one day, not breathing. The Doctor had told her it was habit, now, since she was technically dead. About to die. Frozen. Forgotten. But sometimes, she felt irrevocably mortal. Scared in the line of fire, grabbing Ashildr's hand when she thought they were both going to die, because the more she pushed it away, the more she denied it, the more she could pretend this was all some elaborate adventure. Maybe she had a dream crab on. Because the reality was, she was never going to see the Doctor again. She was never going to. And she was still finding ways to cope with that. She knew she was still in the denial stage, she knew she hadn't felt it fully. So she lingered in the stage as long as she could, as long as possible. What else could she do?


	30. memory

memory - donna

She dreamed about it sometimes. And it was in her dreams that she mourned all she had lost. In her dreams, she remembered, and in her dreams, she realized she had forgotten. So, it was true, also, that in Donna's dreams, she simply relived her old adventures, the ones she had loved, that ones that she imagined would go on forever, the ones that were lost to her now.

And the Doctor, she dreamed about him vividly, in stark colors, and loud voices. She wondered how he was doing, but knew that he must be hurting. Rose was gone, she was gone, and he must be all alone. But Donna tried not to think about it too hard, for fear of wasting the short amount of time she had on something sad. So instead, she remembered libraries and Agatha Christie and saving the Ood.

And every morning, when she woke up, she had the oddest feeling, like something was missing, but she had no idea what. But Donna just shrugged it off, went about with her day, and the locked up part of her waited for the night.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

Special thank you to TercesTardis, it makes me beyond happy to know people are enjoying my story :)


	31. kiss him goodbye

kiss him goodbye - rose

When she kissed him on the beach, the same place she said goodbye, her thoughts fragmented into a million pieces. Because she was kissing him, the clone, but _him_ , who had just told her he loved her, and while her whole heart was with him, part of it was with the man watching too.

The man who would be alone. The man who would leave her on this beach and never come back, because he wanted her to be happy. Because he wanted her to be loved, to have the life she'd wanted, and so he was letting her go. She knew he was letting her go. And her heart ached for him. Because this was the man who she'd laughed with on the floor of the TARDIS. The man who's helmet she had kissed when she wanted him to be safe. The man who she had cried over every time she thought he had died. The man who had saved her. He had saved her life, yes. But he had saved her from the life she was headed towards.

From a life of apathy, or discontentment, of being Mickey's wife and never knowing what love really means. He had given her the stars. And Rose was grateful, more than she could say. So as she kissed him-but-not-him-but- _him_ on the beach, she hoped he knew she loved him, too. And that part of her would be with him forever, in any form he took. And that this kiss was for him, too, that she'd always wanted him, and that meant all of him, in Time Lord form or human form.

And when she heard the wheezing of the TARDIS' brakes, she hoped he knew that even an alternate universe could not keep her love away. She hoped he remembered it all.


	32. mistake

mistake - clara

Clara pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes, trying to rub away her vision, but when she opened her eyes again, the sight was still there. She had trusted him, and she had set him free. It was one of her first trips out of Earth, and now, now she'd already caused destruction and death. She held her breath when she felt the Doctor stand next to each other. Everything was tense, she knew. It was all her fault. Clara had wanted so desperately to understand, because if his mother died, her mother died, too, and Clara knew what kinda twisted things that did to one's mind.

"I thought I understood. I thought _he_ understood."

"No. No, Clara. You know why you can't understand him?" Clara shook her head, hesitantly meeting the Doctor's eyes. "Because you're good. And if it were the other way around, he wouldn't have tried to help you, like you helped him."

"But all those people. That's my fault. I made a mistake and they had to pay for it."

"No. It's his fault. He manipulated you into helping them. It would have happened eventually." She looked at him straight on, wanting to believe him. "Look, Clara. Look at all the people you saved, instead."

sorry it's so short tonight guys, i've been working on some original stuff and i had to wrap that up. see y'all tomorrow!


	33. scar

scar - martha

She had a scar in the center of her palm. By the end of that year, she was covered with so many bumps and bruises that she'd thought nothing of it. But this one stuck with her. Every time she shook someone's hand, every time she washed them, every time she answered her cell phone, the scar was there, glaring at her. She wished she could erase everything of that awful, miserable year. She wished she could forget, like everyone else.

Mickey traced it sometimes at night, lying in bed. He'd grab it, playing with her fingers, then running his pinky finger down the long white curve in the palm of her hand and kissing it. Sometimes, it's beautiful. Sometimes, it's symbolic. It's what she went through. It's a marking that proves that she went through hell and back and still survived. That she singlehandedly saved the world and escaped unscathed, with nothing more than a little crescent shaped scar on her hand.

And then, other times, she doesn't want to remember. She wants to remember the feeling of warm, purple grass between her feet, the sound of a saved city singing, the exhilaration pumping through her blood every time the TARDIS materialized somewhere new. She didn't want to remember a knife slicing through her skin, a desperate woman convinced she could help and enraged when she couldn't. Sometimes, Martha balled her fists up tight, because she didn't want that mark on her. She didn't want to be reminded of that year and not the good bits. Because there _were_ good bits. There were.

But she was okay with it. She had to be. You cannot erase a scar, you can only let it heal. And slowly, but surely, Martha was learning that no matter what scars were on her body, she could soothe the ones on her heart. And that would be enough for her to know.


	34. ordinary

ordinary - amy

 **sorry this is late guys, i fell asleep, but the next bit should be up soon and the schedule will be back on track**

She thought she would feel different after the Doctor dropped her off. Rory had adjusted within a day, like he always did, because of course Rory missed normalcy, and Amy had known that. She spent a week lying around, aimlessly, picking up her phone and thinking about calling him and then setting it back down because she didn't know if he would even answer. She craved any rush of adrenaline possible, anything to remind her of how exciting the whole world is.

And then, slowly, she started to adjust. Started to learn what an ordinary life looked like. The second week, she relished grocery lists, phone calls, all the mindless errands she never thought she would love. She started to go out with her old friends, the ones who were so surprised to have barely heard from her on her honeymoon. Amy was surprised to enjoy it so much. It drove her out of her mind before the Doctor came - because no one had believed her, because he'd promised to take her with him so she'd waited all her life to see the stars.

And she had. At last, she'd lived her dream for years. And now, it was time to find what was next, time to find the beauty in the mundane. She started to understand Rory more now. Amy started to finally realize how he saw the beauty in the ordinary - she had too busy looking to the sky to realize the wonders of the earth.

Of course she missed the Doctor. Every day she wondered how he was. But he had given her what she'd wanted, and now it was time to find what was left.


	35. why are you looking at me like that

why are you looking at me like that - donna

Donna squirmed under his gaze, under his smile, under his sheen of pride. She hadn't done anything, hadn't fixed anything, hadn't saved the day. And yet - he was looking at her as if she'd done something important.

She hadn't. She never had. "What?" She asked him, demanded him. The Doctor raised an eyebrow, amused.

"You saved the day today, Donna." For a second, she almost told him he was wrong. That she hadn't helped, not really, that it was luck, that anyone could have done it. But she was learning that he actually cared, that he wanted her to know he was proud of her. She was learning not to hold her tongue and keep her head down like Shawn had wanted her to. She was learning that she was worth it, or at least that he thought so. So instead of telling him she hadn't done anything at all, she nodded, and smiled.

"Yes," she said, rolling the word around on her tongue, seeing how it felt, "yes I did."


	36. insomnia

insomnia - donna

"Donna," she heard from the console room. "You're still awake?" She looked back. The Doctor had been off, tinkering with the library or something. Donna sat with her feet dangling out the TARDIS door. Months ago, that would have terrified her half to death, but now it was almost second nature. She shrugged, smiling at him and sliding to her left so he had room to sit.

He squeezed in between her and the door and they sat in silence for a moment, watching the stars burn from afar. "Hard to sleep sometimes."

"Yeah? Why's that?:

"I don't want to miss a single thing. All these planets and things, whizzing about the universe, while I'm snoring in bed? Don't think so." She sighed, leaning back on her hands. "Well, it's not like you have to worry. You never sleep."

"Gift of the Time Lord." He paused for a second, and they slipped into another comfortable silence. It was hard to make small talk when the stars were splayed out under your feet. "You should sleep, Donna. There'll be an adventure in the morning."

Donna shifted, reluctant to get up. "Isn't there always?" She yawned. "I suppose you're right, anyway. I've got all the time in the world to see this. Guess I just can't get enough."


	37. sky

sky - clara

 **ok sorry this is a day late it was saved in docs and i thought i uploaded it and i didn't so expect a new chapter in like 2-3 hrs? sry guys i should be back on track soon xx**

i.

Clara never remembered the first time, except in dreams. And of course, it wasn't really the first time, not at all. She could only just remember her echoes, and while the Doctor told her about the Victorian version of her, she couldn't visualize anything he said actually happening. She could imagine it, though. Walking on a cloud, the miracle of her weight keeping her upright, the feeling of the stars sparkling all around her and the breathlessness of the Doctor, just around the corner. She had touched the stars that night. But she couldn't remember.

ii.

Times like the second were the times she remembered why she loved the travelling. She forgot she was with Missy who had killed Danny, and tried to kill her, and could probably kill her any time she wanted to. She ignored the fact that she wasn't walking on the stars, that the ship was only invisible, and twirled around, letting the stars blur into yellow light. She could feel them around her, reach out and hold them in her hands.

iii.

The last time, she was planted firmly on the ground, the Doctor standing behind her, Ashildr long since gone and in the room next to her, and a raven flying her way. The universe had loved her, and she had loved it back, loved it so much it hurt, and now - and now she was done. It was over. She felt her pulse come rushing back, she felt her breath come naturally to her, and then finally, the raven hitting her directly in the stomach. It hurt - it hurt like hell, but Clara thought that maybe the universe was having it's last go around with her. Breathing its last bit of life into her. She felt the stars spooling into her stomach and then, when she screamed, flying out of every cavity in her body. And when she looked up for the final time, she could feel them saying goodbye to her.


	38. sunset

sunset - rose

Rose never thought she'd see a sunset on an alien planet. It was so different from Earth. Planets with the sun very close lit the entire world on fire. She would look at the Doctor then, backlit by purple glow, oranges reflecting in the light of his eyes. And before he could feel her gaze on him, she directed her attention back to the sky, lit with vivid purples and pinks and colors she didn't even know existed. And yet, nothing was as beautiful a sight as him, looking at the universe with wonder. Rose didn't know how he did it, after 900 years, but she thought it was one of the best things about the travelling. Seeing that look of joy on his face, for however long it lasted. She'd seen a hundred sunsets on a hundred different skies with an infinite spectrum of colors, but never anything as majestic as him.


	39. lie

lie - martha

Martha knew she was lying to herself. It had started off a passing crush for the man who had saved her life. For the man whose life she had saved. She hadn't known him yet, but something felt like she was hurtling in his direction. And then, quickly, it became clear that nothing of that sort was going to happen. He offered her time and space, but not his hand and not his heart, and besides, it was just a crush. She could shake a crush.

And then, she couldn't. And then, it snowballed into this heavy weight pressing down on her chest, constricting her breathing. It wouldn't have been so bad if she hadn't _seen_ it happen. If she could have just dismissed the whole thing on the grounds of the fact he's an alien, then maybe she would have been fine. But he had loved Rose, and he fell in love with Joan, so maybe, had things worked out, he could have loved her, too? But things didn't work out, and it didn't look like they were going to. So, Martha lied. She lied to herself, to him, to anyone who asked. Because maybe if she said she didn't love him, if she swore it to herself, then she wouldn't.


	40. santa

santa - amy

 **to tercestardis - yes i adore martha! rose is probably my all time favorite character in anything just about, but martha is absolutely one of my favorite companions, neck and neck with amy. her arc is so interesting and compelling and well written, i'm so glad you love her too!**

Amy didn't remember when she'd started praying to Santa. All she knew is that her aunt would talk about Santa always watching over her, and she got to thinking that Santa and God were the same. And when her aunt explained to her that they weren't, she thought at least they were similar. So she prayed to him. At first, she prayed for toys, then she prayed for her aunt to stop bugging her, then, when she was scared, she prayed to him because Christmas always made her happy and maybe he could help stop the crack in her wall from slipping into her nightmares.

And then, after, when Santa had brought the raggedy man to her doorstep, the one who had promised five minutes and never came back, she prayed for his return. And then, she just did it out of habit. Because the raggedy man wasn't coming back anyway, so what was there to lose? And then, she forgot altogether. She grew out of it, because she was supposed to. Because she was much too old to believe that her raggedy Doctor was ever going to return, much too old to believe he ever existed in the first place, and far, far too old to believe in Santa.

She abandoned Santa and abandoned him and when the crack in the wall haunted her dreams, she rolled over, put her pillow over her head and let it. What else was there to do?


	41. sweater

sweater - donna

Over the year she travelled with the Doctor, Donna had pocketed a large supply of the TARDIS' wardrobe. Every time they'd stop on an alien planet, Donna insisted they find a gift shop. What was the point of travelling through time and space if you never got to remember it? The Doctor always found it a bit odd, an issue he had no problem voicing. But Donna knew he didn't mind. She knew that he always liked to see other people get excited about something new.

She stashed the clothes in her room aboard the ship. She relished travelling to the past anand finding another period dress to wear. Was it vain? Maybe. Was it frivolous? Probably, but Donna didn't want to stop, and saw no reason why she should. It was nice to enjoy herself.

Until it wasn't. Until she forgot the best years of her life and was left a hollow form of her former self, without someone to believe in her. And then, she wore baggy sweatshirts and jeans too tight - Donna didn't know why, she did run so much anymore. And then, stuffed in the back of her closet was a sweater - "the softest sweater in the universe." She felt unsettled. It certainly was soft to the touch, and yet, it contained a feeling - nostalgia? Longing, maybe? Yearning for something. Except that was silly. Clothes don't hold feelings. So she slipped it on and ignored the rumbling of her heart the whole rest of the day. She didn't remember how she ran in that sweater, hand in hand with her best friend, how she laughed in that sweater, hugged a being like she wouldn't have been able to imagine. She didn't remember how she fell asleep in that sweater, letting the day's memories stitch itself into the fabric.

It was just a sweater. It was just a sweater. It was just a sweater.


	42. blink

blink - amy

Amy's lungs were being squished together, squeezed like balloons and then slowly released until her wheezing breaths evened out and night air flowed through them again. She rubbed her eyes, still raw and red, and looked around. She was in an alley, sandwiched between two buildings.

No Doctor. No River. No Rory. She was all alone. Where was he? The plan was to see him again, that's what she wanted, that was all she wanted. But he was nowhere to be found. And she would never see the Doctor again. Amy knew what she was getting into when she blinked, but it was hitting her that it might not work out like she had planned. Her and Rory could be living lives in different times and the Doctor could be all alone. Pressed between the building, Amy held her head in her hands and sobbed.

Her best friend. Her best friend. And her daughter. It would never be the same. No matter what, she would live her life with a missing link, an empty space, a longing for something that would never arrive. Part of her knew this, and part of her kept thinking he'd show up, he'd figure something out, and it would be just another string of adventures that never had an end. But Amy knew this wasn't true. Amy knew. It was cold in the alley, cold and dark. Amy hugged herself tighter, starting to shake with the pain of losing the Doctor and the chilly nighttime breeze.

She wanted Rory. Rory would know what to say. She'd have to find him. Amy fell asleep in the alleyway, not even bothering to notice how exposed and vulnerable she was.

When she woke up, the morning sun was only beginning to stream through the the shadow of the building. Rory stood, hovering over her, eyes thick with tears, and instantly, Amy sat upright.

"Rory. Rory, oh god."

"I thought I'd never see you again," he cried, pulling her into his arms. It was one big show, both of their chests heaving with sobs and words unspoken, words that didn't need to be spoken, because they both knew it by now.

"I couldn't be without you, I couldn't let you leave me."

"I didn't think you'd come back for me. I waited. I waited here for a while, because I thought maybe the Doctor would figure it out."

"Of course-"

"Where is he? How'd he do it?" Amy pulled away from him, looking deep into his eyes. She could see the realization form in his mind. Slowly, Amy shook his head, unwilling to say the words but desperate for him to understand. He loved him, too.

"You let the angel-" He trailed off. He didn't need to say it. Amy saw a muscle in his jaw click, his face tense. They both lost their friend, their families, their daughter. Everything they knew. Except for each other, so they held each other closer, and Amy cried harder, letting herself mourn a life lost to her forever. But it was going to be okay. Because she had Rory. And Rory had her, and that was all they ever needed. That was the only thing that made sense.


	43. dress

dress - clara

sorry this is so short but i gotta a bio test tmrw so i hope you like this minuscule drabble for clara

Handcrafted, he said it was. Made in Paris, 1880. Just feeling the fabric on her skin was like a dream come true. Clara had never realized how much the Doctor was giving her. Time and space, yes, but everything that came with it too. It wasn't only about the dress, though. It was about what it represented. Sure, it was heavy, and hot, and tight, but it was a whole time period at her fingertips. A world to explore. She'd only expected to travel the world, but he had given her a galaxy.


	44. games

games - rose

sorry. lots of school and late nights. bear with me. i'll catch up tonight.

She had started to think she was invincible almost. Her and the Doctor kept getting into these scrapes, these close calls, but they always figured it out in the end, always fixed it. So when she'd gotten transported to the Weakest Link, Rose figured, why not give it all she had? What was there to lose? It was just a game to Rose - and then it became something so real.

Her heart was in her mouth, she could feel her pulse slamming against her brain. And despite it all, she really thought she could win. She thought she stood a fighting chance. But she was wrong. As soon as he got there, she thought she was safe. She thought she'd be alright because the Doctor had come to save her, and all she wanted to do was throw her arms around him and have him tell her it was going to be alright.

So she ran to him, forgetting the rules of the game, because she just wanted _him_ , and she almost made it to him, too. But then she felt a sharp jolt in her back, and she slid sideways, away and away and away.


	45. broken

broken - martha

It started when she was little and she'd rubbed the nose off of her Wonder Woman action figure, that Martha Jones started collecting broken things. She'd find all the pieces to the shattered photo frame, pour them into a jar with the other broken things and let them sit. And then, one long, hot, boring day, she would pull them out and fix them in the most inventive way possible. She'd "doctor" them up. It lasted well into adulthood, this habit, but not even with physical things. She'd collect the shards of her broken family and paste them back together in a semi-recognizable way. A patient at the hospital would pass away and she would be the one to tell them family.

And now - now, Martha was broken, too. She was going to have to find a way to pick up her pieces.


	46. update

Hey, friends. So as you have probably noticed, I haven't updated in over a week. To be honest, I thought of discontinuing this, but I really am enjoying writing this and I don't want to stop. So the decision I've made is to abandon the "daily" aspect of it. I will keep updating but on my own schedule, but still relatively quickly. Because this is starting to feel like a chore to fill it's daily quota and I don't want to phone it in for my sake and yours. So expect longer, more thought out chapters that are relatively similar to what you've seen so far.

I love this show and these characters and I 100% do not want to stop writing for them. I may update once a week or three times a day, but it's going to be on my schedule in my terms. Love you guys, thanks for sticking with me. xx

-Dana


	47. that idiot

**hey y'all it's been so long and i am so sorry but school has been really kicking my ass lately. i've been working on a lot of original stuff for my end year review and whatever so fic has taken a backseat. anyways, hopefully i can update more regularly? i'm gonna try my best, but i have not abandoned y'all yet, fear not**

that idiot - donna

That idiot. That stupid, stupid fool. He had to go and get himself kidnapped, leave Donna stranded god knows where. Her third alien planet, and he vanishes out of thin air. Donna had figured he'd be the one doing the rescuing - he was the alien, wasn't he? - but no, like a damsel in distress, he'd left her alone.

Donna could feel her face turning red. It was hot on the planet, three suns burning, but the Doctor had assured her they were far enough away. Regardless, beams of sweat formed at Donna's hairline, and she impatiently wiped them away, taking in her surrounding. _Okay_. It's crowded. And the people are blue. She spun around, but it was like walking through a sea of smurfs. There was no way she'd be able to - and then, she saw it, a long lock of yellow hair poking through blue spray paint. The sweat had worn part of the woman's painted skin, revealing a pale human complexion underneath.

Donna sighed, and then, with only slight hesitation, ran in her direction, to presumably the heart of trouble, where the Doctor always was.


End file.
